Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The president is an alien! (and other facts)

If you're wondering where this email originated, you've come to the correct place. Please forward it to everyone you know and annoy them endlessly. And feel free to alter it to perpetuate your pet causes. I'm personally somewhat opposed to flaming cats.

Jim Jones of Fakeytown, Arkansas, was fed up. For the zillionth time he'd received an email forward claiming that the president was indeed an alien. The forward contained what he was sure was proof—a statement from a former soldier. Former soldiers never lie and are quite patriotic. They are American to the core. (and friendly with the infantry). Jones knew this had to be true. After all, there was something vaguely different about the president's appearance.

But Jones thought for a moment and decided to check Snopes.com. The email was false! The president was not in fact as alien. He was born somewhere on this planet. Then Jones realized something else: Every time he received one of these odd emails that reported outright lies as facts, he went to Snopes.com to check if the forward was in fact true. They never were, but Snopes.com was getting a lot of traffic from guys just like him.

That's when Jones, a good, God-fearing American who supports our troops, understood the plot that was afoot. Snopes.com was creating all of these nutty forwarded emails just to get more traffic to its site. Why Snopes even created an email claiming that Snopes itself was evil! More traffic, more mind control! Snopes was indeed out to corner the market on idiocracy.

Jones thought about this for a long time, then stretched out in his rubber room and took a nap.

If you forward this email to 10 friends today, you will receive 100 messages in reply. You will also grow hair (only not in the places you requested), have lots of dirty thoughts and receive eternal salvation. If you don't forward it, you will continue to lead the same humdrum existence you are currently living. Forever.

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